Braces

I really hate Smooth Jazz. Anyone that knows me well can attest to the nausea it immediately stirs in my gut. It takes me back to a very awful time in my teens that I refer to as "the braces period." I wore braces for nearly five years - and they were only taken off after those five years by my father's insisting. I spent one hour, every three weeks sitting in an avocado colored dentist chair, staring at macrame everything while a blind woman named Anita tried to tighten each bracket. She often got distracted and dropped orthodontic tools on my face. All the while - listening to saxophone versions of songs like, "She's like the Wind," or "Just the Two of Us." To this day I still have nightmares that I have to get my braces put back on. I remember thinking SO many times while in that avocado chair that the entire experience would be that-much-better if they could just improve the music.

I never thought I'd say this - but today I learned that perhaps there is an appropriate time for Smooth Jazz....because when you're sitting in the dentist's chair, and you realize that your dentist is singing along to Queen's, "Fat Bottomed Girls" while cleaning your teeth...that's just awkward.