A salesman came by the door yesterday. The number one reason I keep my front door closed all day is to avoid these guys. Unfortunately, Maddie had been outside waiting for the ice cream truck - and left it wide open. I rounded the corner and there he was. As soon as he opened his mouth and said he was from Estonia (in a super thick accent) I told him I knew he was at my house to try to sell me books. I said that I had looked at them before, but was not interested. Claire starts crying, and I tell him I have to go. He doesn't budge. Starts listing off names of friends in the neighborhood who he has talked to (I don't get this selling tactic, but salesmen LOVE this one)
"I sat down with your neighbor Terra? Yes Terra?" (In super thick accent)
"Yes, I know Terra."
"Yes, Terra - and her little ones." (He makes gesture of them being small)
"Then I sat down with Alissa, and her little ones." (Making same gesture for little ones)
"Yes, Alissa is also my friend - but as you can hear, my baby is crying - I'm not interested, and need to go feed her."
"Oh yes, I hear - I also sat down with David and Sandy (check those names again, buddy) and their little ones" (he loves this "little ones" gesture).
"That's really great - but like I said - we're not interested. Thank you anyway."
I start closing the door and he jumps in with, "I also spoke with your Alien neighbors."
I have alien neighbors? Now I'm intrigued.
"I'm sorry - who?"
"Your neighbor, Alien - and his little ones." He pulls out the books and starts showing me pictures.
"Yes, I've seen these before."
"Maybe you can talk with Toad to see what he thinks."
"Who?"
"Toad, Toad Alien."
Sorry, Todd Allen, but it looks like an Estonian is wandering the neighborhood destroying your family name.
9 comments:
hahahaha that is really funny! Poor Todd.
Too funny! We visited with the same kid just the other day. Can't imagine having to do what he is doing. Hopefully you got a giggle out of it at least.
Haha! Eww he came to my house too and I get so mad. Leave me the heck alone! But that is pretty funny.
hahaha!! He came to my house THREE times because I kept telling the kids to tell him I wasn't home. He made sure to come over when both of our cars were in the driveway, and I knew I would have to just say no to him to get him to leave me alone!! He could tell I was NOT happy, so he starts up with, "I hear you're the cool mom in the neighborhood, Mrs. Browning." Really. Did you hear that. I bet. He MADE me sit down next to him on the porch. When he started bringing up neighbors and our "ward" I felt like I had to be nice, and ended up spending 20 minutes with him listening and telling him no. He's very persistent, that one. When I came back in I told Paul we were getting a No Solicitors sign IMMEDIATELY.
My favorite was when I told him that I don't need the books because I look things up on the internet. "But when you type in an equation like this (he shows me an actual picture of a google search) you get 2,045,682 results." Uhh.....then you click on one of them and it gives you the answer, I say. ha! Are you supposed to just give up when you get too many results on google? Apparently so.
Dang. I guess I'm just a schmuck, 'cause I usually enjoy talking to the random door to door sales person-even the occasional Jehovah's Witness. They usually have interesting stories to tell. And every once in awhile, something truly enlightening like finding out you've got an alien toad in your neighborhood is revealed. ;)
Oh I glad to hear he used my name, but I guess I wasn't the best reference for him since I too was trapped for 30 min on the front porch only to tell him no. Sorry $115 for one portion of his book collection was out of my budget:O
Update - he came back a second time at 7:40Am!! and rang the door bell and knocked... kids still sleeping and everything. I was ticked! And I don't think he will be coming back again.
I'm with Mandi I am getting a lovely sign to ward off the raid of summer sales peeps.
You should see what happens when one of these guys shows up not wearing a shirt! Maybe the ladies of the house won't be so "busy" (hahaha). Oh ya, BTW, I know where you can borrow any one of those books anytime . . .
hahahahahahah! awesome :-)
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