Pooped

Do you ever feel like the world is out to get you?  I have those days every once in a while - I think we all do.  But I SWEAR that last night I was fated to get no sleep.  At one point I found myself laughing about the odds of all of these events occurring in one night. Before telling you about my night, I'll preface with this:  I don't sleep well, ever.  I can fall asleep very easily, but often wake up two to three hours later - and can't get back to sleep for several hours.  It's usually from 2-4/5 when I lie awake in my bed hating the fact that my mind won't stop racing.

Last night I woke up startled at 2:20 am.  There was a really loud beep that scared me.  I sat there for a second to see if I had dreamed the noise, and when I didn't hear anything, went back to sleep.

2:30am:  Same noise - this time it happens three times.  Very loud, very high pitched. I was awake enough this time to know that I wasn't dreaming - so I asked Rob what the noise was.  He gets up, and says it was the smoke detector.  It wasn't the "I'm low on batteries" beep either - it was SO odd.  Rob and I walk around the house to see why the smoke detector beeped four times, but have no answer.  We both go back to bed confused.  Rob sleeps through confusion, I spend the next thirty minutes running scenarios (that keep getting more and more ridiculous) through my mind.  Do the kids know how to get out in case of a fire?  Is Maddie's bed blocking the window?  I'm obviously not dressed well enough to go running outside - what clothes do I have within an arms reach? If I had to grab one thing after my kids what would it be? How much does insurance pay when your house catches fire? Do you have to get a hotel, or do you wake up your family?

3:00 -   I start dozing off when I hear little feet.  Ella loves to wander into our room at night and make a bed out of the extra pillows and blankets that are on the floor.  As long as she doesn't see that Rob and I are awake, she'll just lay down and go to sleep again.  But this time she's hovering.  "I wet, Mom."  Crap.  Get out of bed, strip clothes and find new PJs.  Since completing her potty training a couple of months ago, she hasn't had any nighttime accidents - so I was confused.  I realize this morning she was actually soaked head to toe - and it was probably sweat.

3:10 - Back to bed, somehow I fall asleep almost immediately.

3:20 - What the heck is THAT noise?  I listen and realize that Madelyn is grinding her teeth so loudly that it has woken me up.  I roll over and cover my ears with my pillow and try to go back to sleep.  I'm awake for a good twenty minutes when I start dozing off.  Then Claire starts crying.   REALLY?!  She always sleeps through the night.  Why tonight?!  I get up and put her binky in her mouth and go back to bed. It's 3:50.  I know I don't have much time before the Shaun T alarm goes off, and fall asleep quickly.

4:00 - Since I have fallen asleep facing our clock radio - which also doubles as Rob's ipod charger, I wake up when the entire room lights up from the notification on Rob's ipod saying that my brother Dan has played his move on his and Rob's Words With Friends game. I curse Dan's name - then realize he's an hour ahead of us and is most likely getting up to go to the gym before work. Good man.  Maybe he's getting up to make eggs for the family - better man.  I wish I lived by Dan so he'd wake up and make me eggs.  I forgive Dan and go back to bed.

4:40 -  Jude starts fighting with Ella in his sleep.  He yells "NO ELLA!" several times, then goes back to bed.

5:00 - I'm still awake and realizing that I have to pee.  Oh man.  Once you realize, there's really no getting out of it - but I instead spend five minutes trying to convince myself to hold it - the alarm is going off in an hour.  Surely if I get up, I won't be able to go back to sleep.

5:05 - Get up to pee.

That was the last thing I remember before the alarm went off at 6.  Since Rob's ipod is attached to the alarm clock, we usually wake up to a song that we love, and let it play all the way through before starting to wake up. This morning I remember barking at Rob, "SHUT IT OFF...NOW!"

My poor kids have dealt with cranky mom all day.  My poor husband is going to come home to a messy house with orphan-looking children swinging from the chandeliers. Perhaps it's time I get off the computer, get myself a Diet Coke and get my rear in gear.  Wish this pooped parent luck!