The Robbers

I woke up this morning to three children hovering over my bed in the dark.  I could hear them whispering to each other asking if this was a big enough deal to wake me up for (I am a bit of a bear in the mornings) when Jude says, "This is the kind of stuff they teach you about in school. You always tell a parent when there is a robber in the house."

A robber in my house, aye?

I scare them all when I shoot up in bed and say, "So we have a robber, do we?"

Jude replies, "I'm sure of it,  Mom.  We were all downstairs and we heard a 'shhh' sound."

"A shhhhh sound?"

"Yeah.  OH!  And there was a headband on the table and NONE OF US PUT IT THERE!"

"So, you're telling me that there is a robber in our house telling you all to be quiet and putting away the things on the floor?  This robber sounds fantastic.  Maybe we should make him some breakfast."

"NO REALLY MOM!  Lily (Maddie's friend who slept over last night) saw him poking his head up over the couch - TWICE! He painted his face black.  Then when we went back to get him, he disappeared."

Ella chimes in, "Man, this guy is good."

I roll out of bed and tell them that I will come downstairs in a few minutes to make sure there is nobody hiding behind the couch.  As they run away I hear Jude say, "I'm going to spray the robber with water.  They hate that!"

Ella says, "Yeah! And I'm going to get him in the balls."

WHAT?!  Did my barely-five year old girl REALLY just say that?!

I go downstairs to talk to Ella about what she just said, and I see this:

With the balls.  WITH the balls.

We need to work on her prepositions.