Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Indignity of it All

I've been called out. My aunt Cindy just IMed me and said, "Saw the sexy pictures on Greg's blog. Looking good!" My first thought was, "Mandy is posting sexy pictures on her blog? That seems out of character.." But then I remembered that my little brother, Greg, challenged me to a blog-photo war. In a "Happy Birthday to Melissa," post he decided to post a picture that I SWEAR is not me. However, my sponsors would still like me to issue this statement:

"While we cannot confirm or deny that it is Melissa in the recent photo scandal, it is very important that the public realize that no tube tops were harmed in the making of this photo."

Even though the subject of this photo is NOT me, I can only imagine how such horrid film came to life. I picture it going down like this:

One afternoon some eight year old girl with brown hair and blue eyes was hanging out at her friends', Janelle and Joanne's house. Janelle was the same age as this brown haired girl, but Joanne was a few years older. A camera was found in the girls' home, and Joanne suggested that they make a fitness magazine. Joanne decided that she (being the oldest) had to be the photographer. Janelle then offered to be a model. Joanne, in true older sister fashion said, "You're to fat to be in a fitness magazine. You get to be the one who holds the lights." Since there were only three girls, the brunette was left to be the fitness model. The brunette girl really wasn't in any shape to be a fitness model either, and actually remembers being directed to, "suck in that roll," during this shot.

This picture was obviously taken before digital cameras, and once the shots were taken, the brunette girl forgot all about them. She really hoped they would never resurface, because the brunette girl thought her parents would kill her. She wasn't allowed to wear tube tops, and thought her parents would think she behaved like a floozy at her friends' home. Unfortunately, at the time Janelle and Joanne's mother happened to be best friends with the brunette's mother, and some time over the next ten years, the pictures were passed from one family to another.

This is all just a theory - I mean, who knows, maybe the brunette really IS a fitness model now. Maybe she's actually Megan Fox, and now I can blackmail her. And maybe now Janelle is a TWIG. The world will never know. One thing I DO know....Greg, you're dead.

6 comments:

Stacey said...

haha, love it. what a sweet post from your brother too.

Stef said...

That picture made me laugh so hard I cried. Made my day, no weekend, no WEEK! And that post from your brother was SUPER sweet.

Robbins said...

That is HI-LARIOUS!
What else are brothers for?

Wilson Family said...

I'm so glad you posted a link to the photo... It is PRICELESS. I love your super-serious face. And I loved the story too! Best birthday present a brother could give.

mom said...

Melissa...be glad I love you and am too low tech to be posting pics. I have even better pictures of the "poodle doo" Can you not kill Greg till after he helps me with fall clean up?

Ashlee Rich said...

I have such a hankering to do the Firm. Where is your sweatband, pray tell??