Sunday, April 26, 2009

For Stefanie

My true colors: I have everybody fooled. My friends and family all seem to think that my house is alway spotless. They believe that I dust and vacuum every hour - on the hour, while my children (obviously freshly bathed) participate in very educational activities. I think I hit the ultimate high last weekend when my mother-in-law even said, "I swear you vacuum your house every day." Success!  

No offense, but you are all suckers. Here's the truth: my house is RARELY clean. I have unbelievably mad skills when it comes to the ten minute panic-clean. As soon as I know that someone is coming to my house I rush around like a crazy woman to make sure that the real me is not exposed. It does NOT matter who you are, or how close of friends we are, the thought of you seeing my house in it's filthy state makes me nauseous.

Last night while baking for my other blog, I looked around the kitchen and almost died. It was one of those moments where I thought (and I honestly think this) "Someone is going to randomly come over - and I'll have to pretend I'm not home." It was that thought that reminded me of something my darling, darling friend Stefanie said the last time she was at my house. I had been babysitting four girls that day and Madelyn's room was trashed; I'm talking EVERY SINGLE TOY - out. Stefanie looked around and said, "I'm not going to lie. I'm really, really happy to see this room look like this."

It was that statement that led me to this post. I've decided to put it all out there, and if you don't like me anymore - so be it. Not only is it filthy, but there's a laundry basket on the kitchen floor-with butter inside of it(?) and I've even left half the cabinets open in true Melissa fashion. Go ahead and judge your heart out.  





So there you have it. If you prefer the neat-freak Melissa, stop by anytime after 5pm. That's the hour in which I have to make sure my husband is also fooled!

5 comments:

Kopp's Cookings said...

HAHAHA, That is the CLEANEST mess i've ever seen!

Brett said...

Oh Lou, you're such a slob. Pa-LEASE! You're a lot cleaner than the average mom with 3 kids.

Something Wilde said...

Neat freak? Do you remember that I was scared to death to live with you because I was afraid you'd always mess up my bathroom rug and I'd start to hate you for it? Hmmm...interesting.

Mom said...

Thank you for not being me. I wouldn't let the construction guy come over 2 days ago because I was cleaning out a closet and everything was a mess. THE CONSTRUCTION GUY...the same one that's going to rip my kitchen apart and destroy my house for weeks on end! My mom got to me somehow...after YEARS of not letting it sink in, the paranoid "what will company think" gene kicked in full force. It's almost hit pathological proportions. I am obscenely organized. My files have sub-files for crying out loud. The bathroom has labeled baskets...I'm a little worried about my sanity. There's nothing like a "happy mess" and while you were all home, there were plenty of them to keep us joyous. Keep up the good work!

Stef said...

This post for me brought tears to mine eyes....

Love you too BFF.