Thursday, February 25, 2010

Everything I Need to Know, I learned from Saved By the Bell

I'm one of those people that is always making-up/resolving situations in my head. They are generally ridiculous things that will really never happen (ie: what questions I can answer on a game show, what to do if the police show up at my door while I'm in the shower, what to say to the person who stole my car) you get the picture. So it was no surprise when I found myself wondering what I would do if my neighbor's bird died while we were in charge of feeding it. That's when I realized this: I've already seen this happen, so I'm totally prepared.

In one of the early seasons of Saved by the Bell, Zack is in charge of watching Slater's chameleon, Artie, while Slater is out of town. While he's away, Artie dies, and Zack tries to replace him with another chameleon. Slater realizes the switch, and is hurt that his friends tried to be dishonest. THANK GOODNESS FOR THIS EPISODE. Now I know that if Karen's bird dies while in my care - I'll just have to tell her the truth, and maybe offer to have said bird stuffed and mounted.

Here are some other important lessons I learned from Zack, Kelly and the rest of the gang:

If your friend's college of choice isn't interested in her, all you need to do is put on a mustache, make a sign that says, "HARVARD," and show interest in her. The other college reps will be impressed that harvard likes your friend, and will want her in their college.

Don't accuse a homeless man of stealing a sport coat from the department store. Your friend probably has it on hold as a gift for the homeless man.

Don't trust your principal's younger, cooler, Michael-Bolton-look-alike, brother when he offers to take your class on a rafting trip. He's not going to show up.

Having a life sized cutout of your girlfriend, in her volleyball uniform, in your bedroom is NOT creepy.

The only thing that sets the "nerds" apart from the "cool kids" are pocket protectors and black curly hair.

Casey Kasem WILL come to your school, if you just ask.

Kids in California actually have six years of high school, and five proms.

Never dump your All-American boyfriend for a college guy named Jeff, who still works at the high-school hotspot. He's just out to break your heart.

Geometry-stressed-caffeine-pill-addicts don't get to sing for the talent scout.

When in doubt, where a turtleneck. It's always a good statement.

I look at all of the times I was faced with these serious dilemmas in my life, and am so glad that I had such good, older friends to set these examples for me. With Bayside's Best showing me the way, I feel like I'll always be prepared. I'll be sure to order this series for my kids in a few years.


Sara said...

I love Saved By the Bell. Every episode is a classic!

Stef said...

I laughed until I peed.

Stacey said...

How did you remember all of those episodes off the top of your head. I of course remembered every single one of them after you mentioned them but would never have remembered them out of the blue. I love Saved by the Bell. I little bit ago there was a night show host that had Zack on the show and he acted as though he were still the high school Zack. It was so weird.

Deon said...

And people say that tv is such a waste of time. Just look at the wealth of knowledge you've racked up! Thanks for sharing, cuz I was one of those people who always assumed that Casey Kasem would just blow me off if I invited him to my school. Who knew?

Wilson Family said...

Haha, this cracked me up! I remember all of those episodes... Ahhh, the good ole days.

Maria said...

I totally do that making up and resolving issues in my head thing! Too bad I missed out on Saved By the Bell to help me out! (We weren't much of a TV family, but after all those pearls you picked up, maybe I ought to rethink that for my own family!) ;)