Soapbox Post

I have been cynical preeeetty much my entire life.  Cynical, sarcastic, a huge fan of Daria in the 90's...you get the point.  I struggled through middle school, passed high school by the skin of my teeth (or just the grace of a few teachers who really didn't want to deal with me any longer) and spent all of my college days driving around in my wrangler listening to music while my friends were at class.  So, in my defense, I don't have a HUGE attachment to education.  I obviously understand how important it is and always, ALWAYS push my kids to do their very best in school.  Once they have earned their doctorates and are drowning in student loan debt, I will share my true feelings with them. But only then because I know my feelings are based around bad experiences and, well, I'll just call it being lazy.

Now.  That being said.  I have really been struggling to find schools for my kids in North Carolina.  I have asked local "mommy groups,"  scoured the internet, and read pretty much everything there is to read about the education system in our new area.  Mostly, I just want my kids to have a better experience than I did.  So, when I found that many of the local Pre-K programs involve plaid romper uniforms, embroidered-crest-polos, and cost almost as much as my monthly mortgage payment I pretty much flipped my lid.

WHAT. ON. EARTH?!

This is preschool, people.  I remember preschool vaguely as a place I went to eat crackers and sing, "Did you ever see a Lassie?" There was a bully in my preschool class that I was terrified of (you should see his class picture - you wouldn't sleep for weeks either), and I had two elderly teachers.  One played the piano and one smelled like baby powder.  That's it...all of my memories from the year before kindergarten.

Why, oh why would I spend so much money on a place..no, a PRESCHOOL, whose name ends in the word academy? Am I missing something?  Is this what has happened to school in the past twenty years?  All I am seeking is a place, heck, I'd settle for a gated off room, where my kids can go to see other kids - make a big mess, sing the ABCs, and practice the manners we teach them at home.  Because, that's what four year olds do, right?

I'll post more as I submit my applications and pray that my daughter is smart enough to pass the entrance exam.  As opinionated as I am....you can expect this to get interesting!

Jude Turns 7

I'm a million years late with this post - but better late than never, I suppose.

Waaaaaaaay back in January, Jude celebrated his 7th birthday.  He's such a different kid this year.  First of all, he finally has two monstrous teeth in the place where he used to have a massive hole in his mouth.  Why are kids' teeth SO STINKING HUGE?!  Nonetheless, they are there - and he will one day grow into them.  If he's anything like Rob and me, he will not only grow into them, but he will grow out of them and end up with relatively small teeth.

In December, Madelyn got a rainbow loom from Santa.  Santa knew that Jude would be interested, so he gave her two looms - to share.  Santa had no idea that Jude would become a rainbow loom factory, and OBSESS over all things rainbow loom.  He can make anything and everything.  He has made more bracelets than I can even count, Elsa (from Frozen - for Maddie) a 3D version of Olaf (from Frozen) an iPod cover, panda bears, a bazillion necklaces, keychains, etc.  If it CAN be made - he has made it.  And he is awesome at it.

Wait for it - he even looms in his sleep.  Jude has taken up sleepwalking - and on more than one occasion, he has come into our bedroom talking gibberish, and looming.

A couple of weeks ago the loom broke, so he has had to replace it with something - and his obsession for the moment is playing Mario on the Wii.  Rob and I know that we should discourage him from becoming so obsessed with video games, but it has been a nice break from all of the looming that he does.  We are kind of relieved to see that he has other interests.  (Although he can't seem to have more than one interest at a time..)

He is kind of a quiet kid.  He doesn't demand a lot of attention, and for the most part is pretty easy going.  I realize he is a boy - but my gosh...I'm pretty sure he is the messiest little thing I've ever seen.  I have no idea what half of the stuff is that he has out at all times, but it seems as though messes follow him everywhere.  I can walk into his room and even though it's clean (according to him) I can feel like I am suffocating from the clutter.  It's his creative genius.  I will never understand - but when he is famous for having invented the coolest whatchama-jig ever (the future's version of the internet) I will not be surprised.

The kid has never EVER asked me for help on any of his homework, and whenever I go and check it everything is always right.  His math skills are beyond mine, and he rocks all of his spelling tests.

Jude, your awesomeness never ceases to amaze me, and I know that I'm not alone in my envy of your adorable and kind natured personality.  You can't go to church, EVER, without being called on and picked for the activities in Sunday school.  I often roll my eyes at how obvious it is that you are everyone's favorite in primary (but I'm secretly smiling too!)

Thank you for waving and running every time I drop you off at school.  Your adorable smile as you try to beat me to the corner always makes my day.

I love you more than you can ever know.

.....and now, the birthday pics.....

The Un-Natural Mom

There's this really adorable girl at my gym named Julie.  She is a size zero, has long blonde hair, beautiful teeth, and big brown eyes.  Naturally, I want to hate her - but I can't because she's just so stinking nice!  She has all these wonderful things to say and is constantly telling me how amazing I look pregnant - and that she's so jealous of me.  For a while I really didn't understand why for ANY reason this girl would envy the pregnant, waddling, sweats-just-walking-TO-the-eliptical lady.  Then she informed me that she had three kids, but had been having a hard time getting pregnant with her fourth.  She really, REALLY wanted five kids and was afraid that maybe God only wanted her to have three.  She told me that she has known since she was a little girl that all she wanted to do was be a mom.  Kids were her life and her favorite thing in the world. I have family members who are like that:  oozing softness, ever nurturing, lovey-dovey, admiral mothers.  These women are a mystery to me.

Julie really got me thinking.  There are so many people out there who are desperate for kids, and can't have any - yet so many having kids that are just living through their situation.  Truth be told, I think that I am one of the latter.  Now, that does NOT mean I am a bad mother - I am just not a natural mother.  I don't want my comments filled with empathetic comments like, "I've seen your blog - you are a great mom!"  I'm not looking for pity, because being an un-natural mom isn't a bad thing - we just have to try a little bit harder to make those special-mom moments happen.


Most people are surprised when I admit that motherhood is foreign to me because I have four, almost five kids.  Everyone assumes that I wake up with little birds and mice that help me get dressed as I sing songs and make a delicious and obviously healthy, whole-grain breakfast.  Again, not the case.  Most mornings I wake up grumbling.  This morning in particular I woke up to a naked baby at 6:15 telling me that she was poopy.  I believe I rolled over and expressed my hatred of Claire's new toddler bed to Rob before getting on my robe and marching angrily into Claire's room.

So, if I'm not the song-singing, healthy-meal-making, high-pitched-voice mother, why do I have so many kids?  That is a REALLY great question, one which I ask myself (and I'm pretty sure my husband wonders about me) on a daily basis.  I should add that I do feel like a have a natural draw to babies.  There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for a sweet, innocent, cuddly bundle of joy.  Love for my children is immediate and overpowering at their birth. I know they are mine, and I hate putting them down.  But at about age two I find myself looking at them thinking, "Now what?"  Not that I have stopped loving them - heck, I love them more, I just don't know how to treat/handle children that can think for themselves.  The (un)natural mother in me wants to tell them what to do for the rest of their lives and smile as I see them living out all of my dreams.  Could my lack of mothering skills come from my overwhelming need to control everything?  Maybe - I'll have to ask my shrink.   I digress.  I have lots of kids because to ME families are big. I come from a family of six kids and my husband comes from a family of seven.  That's not the same for everyone - but it's what I know and it's what I love. Lots of little kids can be challenging, but I love having so many grown siblings and want the same for my kids.

But after getting through my fourth child, I have picked up on a lot of important things that kids need.  Things that I can remind myself to do in those moments where I realize I have been self absorbed for WHO KNOWS how long, and have no idea what my kids have actually been up to. Because, over the years I have learned that it really is the little things that help kids to live normal, balanced, family-focused lives.

• When your kids try to show you something they have made, stop what you are doing and physically look at them while listening.  When they are done explaining, even if you don't understand half of what they have said, compliment their work.  A "Wow!  That is beautiful, " goes a long way when you are physically engaged with them.  But do yourself ONE better and give them a second compliment on something specific.  That shows them that you're not just regurgitating the same response every time they talk to you.  I have seen this work wonders with Jude.  He is so proud of everything he brings me and always walks away with a smile.  If you don't have three seconds to listen with EVERYTHING you have, tell them.  Explain that you really, really want to see their work - but you need to do it in a few minutes when you can give them all of your attention.  They usually understand.  

•  Raise your kids to be polite.  Don't just teach them to be polite to others, make them be polite to you.  As awkward as it seems to tell your kids to thank you for things, they need to be in that habit.  Rob and I usually try to remind them to thank the other parent like, "Wasn't it so nice that Dad took you to the movies?"  Even if I was there - then it doesn't seem like I am begging for a thank you.  My parents raised me this way, and I am SO grateful that they did.  Twenty years later I still know how much they loved me by their wanting me to be a great kid.   Great kids have great manners.  

• Work on the most strained relationship.  I will not say that parents have favorites, but I will say that just like the normal people in our lives, you get along better with different kids.  I also think this comes with ages and phases.  There are just some ages you connect better with, but that doesn't mean to give up on the kids when they are, well, awkward!  Try harder.  Find some area that you can connect with - even if it is small.  I have found that sending "Happy Wednesday,"  or "I love you tons," notes in lunches creates a bond and reminds my children that I am always thinking about them.  When your kids are at their weirdest, love them the most.  It's the love during those times that will get you through till the next phase.  Blow it then, and it might be gone for good.

• Be at everything.  When possible, go to your kids events.  Even if it is a forty-five minute, eardrum-busting orchestra concert, be there.  I have seen so many reactions of sad kids whose parents aren't in the audience: the kids who are dropped off, then picked up.  Obviously, we won't always be able to get to everything, but do your very best.  And if you can't be there, see if an aunt, grandparent, or cousin can fill in for you.  Nothing is worse than putting on a performance for a room full of strangers.  Apologize profusely for the times you can't make it.  Make sure your kids know that there's nowhere you'd rather be.  

• Let your kids see you love your spouse.  Don't always agree in front of your kids just for their sake, but don't fight angrily or emotionally in front of them.  Let your kids see you hug and kiss your spouse. A happy home raises happy kids.

• Sacrifice - sometimes, not always.  Yes, you need that break from your kids, but don't let your kids grow up remembering family activities that you weren't a part of.  Is Dad taking the kids hiking?  Go with - sometimes.  Wouldn't it be nice to stay home and relax while the kids are at that movie?  Yes, but they also need to see that you enjoyed spending your free time with them.  They don't always want to seem like the thing you were most eager to get a break from.  

• Don't be phased by all of the creative and Pinterest worthy activities you see on the internet.  It's fun to do something special for birthdays or IMPORTANT holidays, but your kids aren't going to be sad that your house didn't rock a red, white and blue breakfast for flag day.  Stretch yourself too thin, and there's nothing left.  And honestly, whose REAL life is that well put together?  Not mine! Balloons and streamers for birthdays, traditions for Christmas and Easter.  Your kids will adore you.  

• Most importantly, tell your kids that you love them.  Daily.  Take that one step further by telling them WHY you love them.  One of my favorite questions to ask my kids is, "Do you know why I love you?"  They come up with some really amazing answers.  Then I get to say things like, "I love you for being such a great big sister.  That makes me so proud."  They BEAM, and you know that they know.  

I'm sure there are plenty of you out there thinking, "Duh! Any good mom out there already knows these basic parenting ideas,"  but that's why I wrote them down.  I may not be like you - but I guarantee there are other moms out there just like me.  The moms that have to try a little bit harder and constantly teach themselves what to do so their kids don't end up on Dr. Phil someday!

And for all of you moms out there - natural, un-natural, and those still waiting to be, Happy Mother's Day (a special shout out to my mom and the other "mothers" in my life).  Mothering is NOT an easy job, but I promise that through all of your failings and short comings if your kids know that you love them, you are winning.

About A Boy

It's been a while since Jude has made a blog appearance, so I think it's only appropriate to give him the cyber attention he deserves.  As most of you know, Jude is - hands down- the most creative kid I know.   As I've mentioned in previous posts, as long as there is paper in the house, the kid has no complaints.  He also has a very one-track mind, and works on something until it is finished.  He will then talk about his finished products for HOURS if allowed.

And over the past few years, Jude really hasn't changed much.  He asks me the same five questions every single day.

1.  Can I check the dragons? (It's this really odd ipad ap that Rob introduced the kids to.  You raise, breed, sell and fly dragons.  I don't get it at all, but JUDE IS OBSESSED.)

2.  Can I have a snack?

3.  Can I have a piece of paper?

4.  Can I get out the creating bin?

5.  Can I play the computer?

And that's my schedule with the boy.

Now, there are people who love Jude - and then there is my brother Dan and his wife Marissa.  I know they love all of my kids, but Jude's "creativity" really strikes a chord with them.  But in all seriousness, Dan asked a really good question last time he was in town.  Given the extent of his creative obsessions, Jude could be labeled as a lot of interesting things from his peers.  (I know at my age there would have been some giggling) so Dan asked how the kids reacted to Jude.

One of my biggest fears with raising a sweet and confident boy has always been that he would be seen by others as this kid:




Totally not the case.  Somehow Jude's confidence has the other kids admiring him, and his artwork is envied at school.  A few weeks ago, I went to pick up Jude from school and while all of the kids were running around outside screaming, Jude was silently standing next to the carpool lane just like this:

Except, replace the boom box with a three foot - made from paper - alligator.

He had realized the day before that he didn't have anything he wanted to take in for show and tell, so naturally, he made something.

I just smiled and thought, "That's my boy."

But as I got out of the car, I heard two different kids telling their parents that he was the kid with all of the cool inventions.  Then a super cute little girl yells, "Bye Jude, I hope you bring your alligator again!"

I'm pretty sure this kid was born a hipster.  His confidence, creativity, and all-around positivity have turned this kid into a kindergarten all star, and as his mom....I'm ridiculously proud.

So now, without further ado, I suppose I should get around to the main purpose of this post.  To share Jude's most recent creations.

(White paper) A one legged man that only stands on his tongue.

(Green paper) The alligator that I mentioned earlier.  The mouth opens and closes and is full of sharp teeth.

(In Jude's hands) A puppet version of the baby on the 90s show Dinosaurs.  Yes, I'm talking about the one that always yells, "Not the Momma."  (I think he found this on Youtube?)

(Behind him)  A map of treasures that he has hidden in his room.

(Yellow paper) a lion made from a paper plate.  There is a hole in the mouth where (paper) food goes in, and a hole in his rear end so that food can be properly expelled.  (Not pictured is the mass quantity of food that he made to feed the lion).

What else can I say?  The kid is obviously a freaking genius.

Another One Bites the Dust

 ...and only five days after losing the first one.  In her words - being seven is awesome.

And now they are teeth twinners! 

BDEM:  Free Slurpees for the entire family on 7/11?  Oh, heck yes!  They even had a sugar free option for me.  

Holy Adorable!

This was such a fun stage for the two of them...and boy do I miss Maddie's little lisp!  

And when did Maddie lose her little chubby cheeks?   Crazy!

As much as Maddie has changed, I swear on my life Jude (with the exception of the teeth) is EXACTLY the same physically.  Maybe his brain is too busy growing to let his body make any changes.  Yeah - I'm sure that's it.

BDEM:  Another B-E-A-utiful day.  The kids made a backyard beach, ate on the patio and enjoyed ice cream in April.  LOVE this!

Water:  60 oz

Review

In 2011 we:

welcomed our third daughter

took swimming lessons

(I) chopped my hair

took up Insanity - I lost 50 lbs, Rob lost 15 (and got ripped!)

before

after

(I) loved my calling as the Young Women's President

Rob lost a bad job, and then was blessed to quickly find a much better one!  

(INSERT SAD - THEN HAPPY PHOTO HERE)

hiked a lot

spent holidays with Rob's family

went to my dad's wedding in Chicago - and somehow didn't get a picture with the kids and my dad!

saw one of our favorite bands in concert - in the rain

lost first teeth - some more naturally than others

had the time of our lives at family camp (and can't wait to go again in August!)

trick-or-treated

pierced ears

and celebrated Christmas like it was going out of style

Can't ask for a better year that that, now can I?

Happy New Year, friends!!

BDEM:  My dad got us some gift cards for Christmas, and I'm going to use the money to re-vamp my bedroom.  I bought the bedspread today, and am looking forward to putting it all together - then buying the finishing touches!

All I Want for Christmas

Sweet Jude was riding his scooter around the gym at our church and took a nasty fall. The wood floors were really slick, and the wheels slipped sideways sending him and the scooter into a pile of chairs. The handlebars went straight into his mouth, and messed up his upper lip pretty bad. After about ten minutes of icing it and blotting his lip, I noticed blood was still pooling up in his mouth, so I looked inside and realized his two front teeth didn't look right. We ran him over to a new dentist who told us that both teeth would have to be extracted. He is waiting until after Christmas, because in his words, it is going to hurt.

I explained the situation to Jude and then Rob started singing, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth." Jude was pretty bummed, and I asked him if he was sad they would be gone. I explained that the tooth dairy would still come, and hoped he'd be okay. Then he very quietly told me, "Mom, I am sad because I don't want my two front teeth for Christmas. I already asked Santa for something else."

Oh, that kid.


So glad he's okay.


BDEM: On the way to the dentist's office, Rob told me that we didn't have dental insurance, and the thought of an uninsured dental surgery scared the daylights out of me. I guess I was expecting it to be around $2000, so when they handed me the estimate for $275 I nearly wet my pants. Another Christmas miracle, considering we will need the extra cash for the car that broke down on the way home!

I finished my baking, we finished family movie night, we got PJs on, had the kids brush their teeth, and sent them to bed.  While I was unloading the dishwasher I had that record-scratch moment when I looked at the clock and realized it was only 7:45pm.

The kids usually go to bed between 8:15 and 8:30, so 7:45 seemed a bit early, but hey - we all know I'm not going in there to rile them up again! Then I wondered what time other kids are going to bed.  Am I putting my kids to bed at a whimpy hour?  I don't want my kids turning into these guys:

Maddie is in first grade, and I still put her to bed at the same time as a ten month old, and a barely three year old. Just typing that made me feel like a bad mom!  Whoops.

BDEM:  Tonight at dinner Jude just could not get the words "sour cream" out of his mouth.  He must have said "Shower Keem" ten times in a row.  He was flustered but he just couldn't stop laughing either. Every single time he thought he had finally said it right, too - which made it even funnier.

The Soundtrack of my Life

I love music.  L.O.V.E.

I do my best as a stay home mom, to stay caught up on new artists, and still live through the classics, etc.

So, then why is it that the soundtrack of my life always seems to revolve around childrens' TV shows? 

Whenever I need to fix something - I am automatically singing, "Let's get going and fix it right...twist and turn, make it tight..."  

Thanks to this guy:

Sadly, half of the words are in Spanish, so I have to make that whole part up.  According to Rob, I'm not even close.

It rained yesterday - so I spent the entire day singing this song:

I can't seem to tell my kids to brush their teeth without going here:

Today, I was on a mission to find some really cute brown boots.  And for the rest of the day I was stuck with this one:

ALL because I was on a "mission." I couldn't stop the count-down.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  I can't even look at my brother Derek when someone says, "milk."  It brings on some major traumas.  I'll blog about that tomorrow, I think.  That is another weird story. The good news is that I have four kids and can pretend this is all because of them.  The bad news is this has been an issue ever since I was a child, so that makes the good news nothing but a lie!

BDEM: There have been five loads of washed/not folded laundry just laughing at me every time I walked in the laundry room.  It was like a scene from Pee-Wee's playhouse.  (WOW...did I really just say that after posting about my life as a children's TV show weirdo?) But yes, I'm pretty sure the laundry laughed at me.  Today I folded it, and put it away.  Look who's laughing now, chumps.

Crankiness Explained

Claire, my uber chubby, super squishy, smiley little lovey-dovey, has not been herself lately. She won't sleep through the night and she spends a lot of time yelling at me from cross the room. It would help if her yells meant something...but they are usually just the sounds of a rabid dog. (Picture the thing that jumps out of Louis Tully's closet in ghostbusters - yeah, that's Claire). As of this morning there are six little white bumps poking through her bottom gums. That means that not one, but two teeth are shooting their way out - buddy system style. Poor, cute kid. I think I can forgive the growls now, but I have to say that if she keeps breathing fire after they are all the way through, I may have to get her to a pediatrician...or maybe a vet to get checked out.

When I get home, I'll post some pictures of her teeth. I hope they are chubby.

BDEM: Watching Maddie try to jump off of the diving board. Jude gets up there, walks right to the edge and jumps. Madelyn walks up and panics...every time. She tries to bounce, and ends up jumping backwards in a half skip. I can't help but laugh. Then she starts yelling and doing small screams, so she gets the attention of everyone around her as she continues to throw her arms forward, while jumping further back on the diving board. It's like nothing I have ever seen, but I could watch it all day long. Poor kid.....you have a terrible mom!!

Pooped

Do you ever feel like the world is out to get you?  I have those days every once in a while - I think we all do.  But I SWEAR that last night I was fated to get no sleep.  At one point I found myself laughing about the odds of all of these events occurring in one night. Before telling you about my night, I'll preface with this:  I don't sleep well, ever.  I can fall asleep very easily, but often wake up two to three hours later - and can't get back to sleep for several hours.  It's usually from 2-4/5 when I lie awake in my bed hating the fact that my mind won't stop racing.

Last night I woke up startled at 2:20 am.  There was a really loud beep that scared me.  I sat there for a second to see if I had dreamed the noise, and when I didn't hear anything, went back to sleep.

2:30am:  Same noise - this time it happens three times.  Very loud, very high pitched. I was awake enough this time to know that I wasn't dreaming - so I asked Rob what the noise was.  He gets up, and says it was the smoke detector.  It wasn't the "I'm low on batteries" beep either - it was SO odd.  Rob and I walk around the house to see why the smoke detector beeped four times, but have no answer.  We both go back to bed confused.  Rob sleeps through confusion, I spend the next thirty minutes running scenarios (that keep getting more and more ridiculous) through my mind.  Do the kids know how to get out in case of a fire?  Is Maddie's bed blocking the window?  I'm obviously not dressed well enough to go running outside - what clothes do I have within an arms reach? If I had to grab one thing after my kids what would it be? How much does insurance pay when your house catches fire? Do you have to get a hotel, or do you wake up your family?

3:00 -   I start dozing off when I hear little feet.  Ella loves to wander into our room at night and make a bed out of the extra pillows and blankets that are on the floor.  As long as she doesn't see that Rob and I are awake, she'll just lay down and go to sleep again.  But this time she's hovering.  "I wet, Mom."  Crap.  Get out of bed, strip clothes and find new PJs.  Since completing her potty training a couple of months ago, she hasn't had any nighttime accidents - so I was confused.  I realize this morning she was actually soaked head to toe - and it was probably sweat.

3:10 - Back to bed, somehow I fall asleep almost immediately.

3:20 - What the heck is THAT noise?  I listen and realize that Madelyn is grinding her teeth so loudly that it has woken me up.  I roll over and cover my ears with my pillow and try to go back to sleep.  I'm awake for a good twenty minutes when I start dozing off.  Then Claire starts crying.   REALLY?!  She always sleeps through the night.  Why tonight?!  I get up and put her binky in her mouth and go back to bed. It's 3:50.  I know I don't have much time before the Shaun T alarm goes off, and fall asleep quickly.

4:00 - Since I have fallen asleep facing our clock radio - which also doubles as Rob's ipod charger, I wake up when the entire room lights up from the notification on Rob's ipod saying that my brother Dan has played his move on his and Rob's Words With Friends game. I curse Dan's name - then realize he's an hour ahead of us and is most likely getting up to go to the gym before work. Good man.  Maybe he's getting up to make eggs for the family - better man.  I wish I lived by Dan so he'd wake up and make me eggs.  I forgive Dan and go back to bed.

4:40 -  Jude starts fighting with Ella in his sleep.  He yells "NO ELLA!" several times, then goes back to bed.

5:00 - I'm still awake and realizing that I have to pee.  Oh man.  Once you realize, there's really no getting out of it - but I instead spend five minutes trying to convince myself to hold it - the alarm is going off in an hour.  Surely if I get up, I won't be able to go back to sleep.

5:05 - Get up to pee.

That was the last thing I remember before the alarm went off at 6.  Since Rob's ipod is attached to the alarm clock, we usually wake up to a song that we love, and let it play all the way through before starting to wake up. This morning I remember barking at Rob, "SHUT IT OFF...NOW!"

My poor kids have dealt with cranky mom all day.  My poor husband is going to come home to a messy house with orphan-looking children swinging from the chandeliers. Perhaps it's time I get off the computer, get myself a Diet Coke and get my rear in gear.  Wish this pooped parent luck!

The Tooth

**Photo provided for visual interest - and is in no way, shape or form related to this post**

It has been a full week since Madelyn announced the loose tooth.  I'm actually quite surprised that it hasn't fallen out on it's own yet - which makes me wonder....

Did your teeth just fall out, or did your parents pull them?!  Rob tried to scare Maddie into pulling it last night with the "you're going to swallow it," story - but she's not biting.  (Wow....that pun really wasn't intended.  I guess I'm just THAT funny.  Okay, only my dad enjoyed that joke.) Anyway, how many of your teeth fell out on their own?  If they were pulled, what was your parents' method of choice?  I'm fairly sure I lost all of mine (with maybe one or two pulled by method of dental floss and a slip know around the tooth).  My brother said he actually just used pliers on his kids - ouch!  My in-laws want to tie it to a door and slam it, but I can't wrap my head around that one...I thought that was only done on cartoons.

Sorry to blog about this, again, but it's the new family pet.  "How was the tooth today?"  "Are we ready to pull that thing yet?"  "Does it hurt?"

Madelyn has been asking a lot of questions about the Tooth Fairy, and I'm running out of answers.  I honestly have no idea what her middle name is, and if she prefers pink - or dresses more like Tinkerbell. Rob casually mentioned that he hoped she was still around because she's been gathering teeth for a long, long time, to which Madelyn replied, very solemnly, "Is the Tooth Fairy dead?"  I think the tears in Maddie's eyes helped Rob learn his lesson about making Tooth Fairy jokes.

I'm just hoping she comes soon.  Even if it's via a tooth pull.  Tell me your favorite method of tooth removal, and hopefully tomorrow's post will be a cute picture of a hole in Maddie's mouth.

Claire

This kid:

Laughs all the time

Loves to roll

Has huge, sparkly blue eyes

Has been sleeping like a champ since she was five weeks old

Loves to give Mom and Dad kisses

Can't get enough of her siblings

Still has no teeth

Loves to jump

Makes me fall even more in love with her every single day

Wishes

I've been wishing for a lot of things lately. That's not to say I'm unhappy with my life at all, there are just a lot of little things that keep entering the, "wouldn't it be nice if.." category. Here are a few of the things I've been hung up on.

Warm weather, everyday

A swing set for my kids

Big, straight, white teeth

Some really cute yet COMFY clothes (how do all my friends have these? Where are they finding them? You know - those, "I wasn't even trying today - yet somehow I look awesome," clothes)

A new jogging stroller

A new morning dress (remember, that's a robe)

The other day I was reminded just how easy it is to get these things. Maddie was outside playing with a neighbor, and he handed her a fuzzy dandelion. They then proceeded to make wishes together. He wished that his toy car would crash. He dropped the dandelion, grabbed the car and chucked it. (Wish granted). Maddie then grabbed her dandelion, and said, "I wish, I wish with all my heart (Thank you Dragon Tales) for a great big heart."

I tried really hard not to laugh out loud. I mean, a great big heart? Only Madelyn. She wasn't even asking for the "caring" type of heart, either. She just wanted a big heart of some sort. I'm assuming a stuffed animal? I was chuckling to myself about this when I noticed her with a confused look on her face. She turned to me and said, "So, uh, now what? Does it just fall from the sky?"

Can somebody please contact me if they see any falling swing sets, teeth, clothes, strollers or robes? Thanks.

Only in Dreams

Growing up, I was always that person who came to school to tell my friends, "I had the weirdest dream about you last night..." My dreams were always long, detailed, and usually very soap-opera-like.

Over the years, my sleeping habits have changed. I don't dream nearly as much as I used to since I usually spend several hours awake in the middle of the night. Last night I was up from 3-6. But from 6-7:30, I had one of my recurring dreams. I dreamt that I ran into an old friend from high school, and he was crying because he was working at a car wash to support the son that his girlfriend had kidnapped. (Yeah - NOT the recurring part, more the soap opera part). So then in mid conversation my teeth started falling out. I just kept apologizing to him for my gross behavior, and explaining that this wasn't usually what my teeth did. What the...?

There are two more dreams that I get all the time: the braces dream (see THIS post to understand) and the dream where I'm married to someone else. It's usually to people that I don't like much, and I keep thinking, "Man, HOW did I get into this?" Then I'll remember that I'm actually married to Rob, and that we have three kids together. I have to explain this to my new husband, and try to find out where I left my other family.

My dreams baffle me, but even MORE bizarre in my opinion, are my husband's dreams. I swear the guy doesn't dream about people at all. He dreams in giant lizards, dragons and dinosaurs. And he's ALL OVER THE PLACE. He kicks, he yells, he fights, and he casts spells in the middle of the night. I remember one night when we were first married he did that thing where you're just dozing off (and then in your dream you trip or fall or something) and jump. I asked, "Woah, what was that? " He said, "I was dodging a dragon." I think I made fun of that for the first four years of our marriage.

Thinking about all of this made me wonder what other people dream about. Anyone else's teeth falling out? Are you living in the Land of the Lost? Maybe it's just us. Maybe we are just that crazy.

Remember that time...

...that Ella turned one? No? Oh, that's probably because I'm a bad mom. Here's how the day went down. On November 14th we woke up at 6, threw some clothes on our kids, jumped in the car, and drove Ella straight to Rob's parents' house. We then left her there for eight days while we enjoyed sunny Mexico. I may have yelled, "Happy Birthday," as we drove off. Poor kid.

Happy Birthday, two months ago, Ella. I hope this staged scene makes you realize,when you're older, that we really DO love you. You've been an absolute joy this past year. You're adored by everyone you meet, and your Jude-like-grin (read: cute gap between your front teeth) makes everyone around you smile.

Um, Yeah

I have a lot of black spots on my bottom molars. I have had them for years. A year ago I went to the dentist with a black spot that was causing me some sensitivity. He looked at it, looked at my x-rays, shoved that stupid-dentist-poker-thing in and around it, and told me that it was not a cavity, it was a "phantom tooth." He even told me about an assistant in his office that had a similar "phantom tooth" that caused her pain every once in a while. Well, that phantom tooth was still bothering me when I saw a new dentist on Friday for my cleaning, so I mentioned it to the dental assistant. I actually hoped that it was a cavity so I could just get it filled and viola, "phantom tooth" fixed.
Now, I must mention that it HAS been a year since my last cleaning. Perhaps it's due the fact that Rob was gone all year from 7am-9pm, and I had no sitter. Or maybe it's because I was pregnant that I excused my way out of my six month cleaning. These are both very valid reasons, but the truth is I just plain hate the dentist's office(but I obviously used reasons one and two when talking to the assistant). So she proceeded to clean my teeth and then told me that I had done a very good job of keeping my teeth cleaned, and that there was hardly any build up on them. I was praising myself for a job well done when the dentist came in to do the final exam. I opened my mouth and he noticed the dark spots on my molars. Instead of poking them with that stupid stick, he waved a magic wand over all of them that apparently measures the tooth to see if it's decaying. Yes, phantom tooth has a cavity. Hooray. But he doesn't stop there...SEVEN cavities later, I'm unbelievably red in the face. I guess they are all very small cavities, and the dentist said that I've had them since I was 12 or 13, but because of bad technology they've gone undetected. So now I have to go back to my FAVORITE place a few more times to get those little holes fixed up. Seven. HOW EMBARRASSING. Perhaps this explains why I keep having dreams that my teeth are breaking and falling out.

Braces

I really hate Smooth Jazz. Anyone that knows me well can attest to the nausea it immediately stirs in my gut. It takes me back to a very awful time in my teens that I refer to as "the braces period." I wore braces for nearly five years - and they were only taken off after those five years by my father's insisting. I spent one hour, every three weeks sitting in an avocado colored dentist chair, staring at macrame everything while a blind woman named Anita tried to tighten each bracket. She often got distracted and dropped orthodontic tools on my face. All the while - listening to saxophone versions of songs like, "She's like the Wind," or "Just the Two of Us." To this day I still have nightmares that I have to get my braces put back on. I remember thinking SO many times while in that avocado chair that the entire experience would be that-much-better if they could just improve the music.

I never thought I'd say this - but today I learned that perhaps there is an appropriate time for Smooth Jazz....because when you're sitting in the dentist's chair, and you realize that your dentist is singing along to Queen's, "Fat Bottomed Girls" while cleaning your teeth...that's just awkward.

Excuses, anyone?

While driving to the pediatrician's office yesterday my gum was suddeny full of sand. I pulled the gritty piece from my mouth and there it was - half of my only crown/veneer. I had this crown put on about a year ago, and my heart immediately sank - for I now find myself in a pickle.

You see, I take pretty good care of my teeth....I had lots of cavities as a kid, but as an adult have had two, maybe three. The crown I speak of was an old filling that managed to wiggle loose, and become another cavity under the filling. The dentist "didn't see this" in my x-ray, and broke my tooth in half while drilling. I didn't go back to that dentist. The new dentist said we'd give the huge hole in my mouth a root canal, and then replace the left-over tooth with a veneer. Done. $500+ dollars later (insurance INCLUDED) I had a new, fancy, smooth, tooth.

At the end of my appointment the Dr. gave me a "certificate of authenticity" of some sort stating that they'd guarantee the veneer for five years, as long as my six-month-tooth-cleanings were up to date. I just missed my six month cleaning....six months ago. Now what???

If this dentist won't guarantee my veneer - I'm surely not going to go back to them, only to get another shoddy one that crumbles in a year. On the other hand, if I don't throw enough of a fit - I'll have to pay another $500+ to another dentist.

Kris - you're my dental friend....what do I do - and DON'T give me any 6-months appt grief - I'm a mother of two, and who REALLY goes every six moths on the dot? It's like oil changes - we all wait 5000 miles anyway. The fact that I feel this is a very accurate picture of a dentist's office does not make it any easier to go, either.